She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
