All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize