Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
