just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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