I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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