my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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