So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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