East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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