Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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