i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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