So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
