Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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