Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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