Dual....:-)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
