We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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