If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize