brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
