I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
