just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
