I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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