New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
