Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
