one two three fourrrrnication!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
