i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
