i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
