im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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