Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
