Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
