pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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