How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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