I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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