Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
