The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
