love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
