Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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