my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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