is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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