see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
