like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
