I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
