Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
