All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
