He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize