i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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