Me too!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize