Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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