I want to walk on stilts...naked
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm bleeding and have questions
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
