I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My first STD was from a foam party
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
