alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
