why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
