one two three fourrrrnication!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize