Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
