he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I understand Curling. That high.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
