I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
