the day after is always just damage control
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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