are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
