How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
