Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
