Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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