Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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